Negotiation isn’t about pushing or convincing the other person. It’s about figuring out what they want and how you can help them get it.

“Most people think of negotiation only when they need to get something more,” says Tammy Lenski, a professional mediator who helps businesses with conflict management. “At work, every conversation is a negotiation. You’re negotiating deadlines, the quality level, what might be taken off your plate to make room for a project, and what benefit you might get for taking on that project,” she says.

Tackle tactfully

Playing hardball in the office can backfire when you need to work with your coworkers every day. “You have an ongoing relationship with these folks, and you’re trying not to leave debris,” Lenski says. “People need to stop thinking about negotiating as getting more of what I need, which means getting less of what you need. Instead, think about how I can get their needs met while also getting mine.”

Also try to find out the other person’s needs, and come to a conclusion that helps both of you. “The best negotiation is using good human relation skills in an effective way,” Lenski says. “It isn’t about pushing or convincing or manipulating the other person. It’s about having them figure out what they want and how you can help them get it.”

Right query

In negotiations, you know what you want. But you also need to find out what the other side wants in return. It’s most efficient if you just ask openly. When Lenski started her private practice 10 years ago, she decided to provide conflict management services to a company in turmoil. The department head asked her to slash her price by 20 per cent. Lenski said this was her bottom-line number, but the department head said everything is negotiable. Lenski then asked the essential question: “Why do you believe everything is negotiable?” The department head explained the head of finance would ask if she bargained and got a good deal. At that point, Lenski crossed out the original fee and wrote a new one that was about 25 per cent higher. “Will this work?” she asked. The department head said, “Well, I’ll have to offer you 20 per cent less than that.” And they had a deal.

Speak up

Instead of keeping quiet and thus becoming resentful, “negotiating is figuring out how to raise the things that are bothering you so they can be sorted out”, Lenski says.

There are gender-based differences in negotiation. “Many women are not very good at asking, or when they are made an offer, they tend to think that they have to say yes or no,” Lenski says. “But men tend to think of it as the opening volley in a negotiating experience.”

Homework helps

Lenski says people tend to waste a lot of time worrying about scary negotiation scenarios. “They go into it thinking about how it can go wrong,” she says, even though the negotiation generally turns out much better than expected. “Instead, they should spend their time thinking of it from the perspective of the other person. What would make them want to join you to figure things out? Not what will make them change their mind, but what will make them want to sort this out with me. Invite them into joint problem-solving,” she says. Not only does this tactic lead to more successful negotiations, but your colleagues will also have a better opinion of you

Sources: The Telegraph (Kolkata, India)