Tips to help you grieve a loss and honor your loved one

There’s nothing more uncontrollable than the death of someone you love. But there are ways to cope, says Tina Tessina, Ph.D., psychotherapist and author of It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction. She offers the following tips to help you move through what may seem like endless grief. Note the pattern in her suggestions — maintaining your love for the person and honoring his or her memory, while still moving on with life:

Think of your grief as a certain number of tears you must shed before the intensity of the sadness, anger, and guilt subsides. The more opportunities you take to grieve and feel all the related feelings, the sooner you will reach your magic number of tears.

Create a special place in your house, with a picture, a candle, and perhaps some small mementos of your loved one. When you feel sad, spend some time there, and “talk” to the person you lost about how you’re feeling.

Get a scrapbook and make a memory album of the good times you had together. Put in photos, greeting cards, menus, or postcards. You can also write in it. Refer back to it in times of sadness.

On your loved one’s birthday or anniversaries, buy a card or write a letter and burn it to send it.

From: Stealth Health